In the time that I realized that Rayshawn was an asshole up til now, I had a few small crushes here and there. The two most significant began last year.
First, Goofy. I was infatuated with him! n_n<3
He was funny and cute and had a great personality and oh, so much more... But during the volleyball season, he had a huge crush on this senior girl on the team. So though I liked him, I slowly let him go because I didn't want to get hurt watching him flirt with her.
Sometime after Goofy, I met Anthony. He stole my heart instantly. Being absolutely serious, he was the hottest piece of Asian I'd ever seen lol. It all happened at a game one day. I was sitting by myself then he came over said hi and gave me a hug. I fell in love with his hug first (it was so full of passion!) then I noticed how perfect he was :)
Perfect in everyway... except for his height. Like I said before, I'm tall (6"). Unfortunately Asians tend not to come in my size haha. But it was okay at the time; his personality was my main focus. I wanted to be around him all the time because he had this aura about him. But to my dismay, in a short couple of months, he started going out with the same girl who Goofy had a crush on (I guess she's just got game). I was crushed at first, but though it hurt, I saw that they really loved each other. And there was nothing I could do about that so I moved on.
This year, soon after the start of the volleyball season, I realized that I still had those feelings for Goofy. And they hit me more than ever this time. I still remember the first time he hugged me after a game... <3
And after the season, somehow I got to know him better, understand his situation. He talked to me. According to a mutual friend, he considered me one of his best girl friends, which was fine with me. Just as long as I got to be around him because I knew that nothing would ever happen between us. (Sure, friends can tell you "you never know," but in reality, it's true. You know when something has potential to work and when it doesn't. Goofy, like all the other guys I've crushed on, will never be mine.) Then he told me the unfortunate news that he had a crush on some other girl on the team . I can't hate her. I know her, she's nice. I gotta give her props. She got game too. (I guess there's a secret to winning this game that I'll never know.)
I still like him, really like him. But lately he's been getting distant. Maybe it's his own problems, but I can't help but think that he found out about my crush. Maybe he doesn't want to be around me anymore because he thinks it'll be awkward. Maybe I told too many people...
So that's the end of my hopeless romance stories for now.
One important thing though, he might transfer out of the school, which will break my heart. But whether he does or he doesn't, I swear, I will confess. He will be the first guy I've ever confessed to. My heart's beating fast, and I only thinking about it lol <3