I'm gonna try to keep this short because I just feel like there's so much to talk about... and I don't have the patience to sit here and type everything up lol.
Okay. So this past week has been a rollercoaster ride for me. Stupid moody teenage years haha. There are two main issues right now.
1) Sleep. Since the weekend, I haven't been getting good sleep. Like, my sleep schedule is COMPLETELY EFFED UP! I stayed up late Sunday night trying to finish homework. And I did the same Monday night. And then Tuesday I came hoem and just fell asleep. My mom didn't wake me up until 10:30. You;d think my parents would wake me up right when they got home... smh. Then last night I seriously tried to finish all my hw... but it ended up with me waking up at 11 AM still in my bed -_-
When I called my mom she said that she woke up at 8, saw me sleeping and said "Aren't you going to school?" Yeah. Like that's supposed to wake me up. Now when my dad gets home I'm going to have to tell him what happened and I'm going to get in BIG trouble. The only thing he told me yesterday was "Make sure you get up on time and go to school". I couldn't even do that. He might not let me go to volleyball anymore D:
I hope my sleeping schedule gets fixed soon. I'm tired of staying up all night and sneaking around and waking up late and asking for rides to school and being really tired in school and most of all, getting in trouble...
2) Guys. My goodness. My emotions have been all over the place. Because Malcolm moved on Sunday (and because I barely got any work done), I wanted to take the day off on Monday, but my Dad said no because "It's better to not have done work, but still learn a lesson in class than to skip school and miss everything completely". I guess it's true, but still, I was pissed off. And it really showed in school. I was in a horrible mood. And in my anger I ignored my fiance. So all that week I felt bad because of that. I thought he was mad at me, but it turns out it was all just one big miscommunication. He didn't even realize I was ignoring him. So I was feeling crappy because of that.
But more recently, halfway through practice yesterday I started getting upset. I think it started with ____. She's one of the prettiest girls in my grade. She stopped by to talk to ____ and the longer she stayed the worse I felt. It's a long explanation I don't want to go into, but basically, I used to be confident about myself. I used to love myself fully or at least like most of my features, but now I can't help but hate myself for not being the girl that my crushes like(d). And I hate how I know they don't feel the same way about me, but I still like them anyway. I just want to let all my feelings for them go. It really bothered me one night so I wrote a poem about it on Facebook. I think I'll post it here so you can better understand how I feel.
That's it. Those are the big two.
Other updates... Term four started last Monday. And it didn't start too good for me. Like I've said before, I don't think I'm doing well academically. Though I was shocked when I saw all A's and B's (except for chemistry... of course) on my report card, I'm not pleased with my actual performance in and out of class. But I think I'll stop talking about school for a bit. Though it is a major part if my life right now, what I say about it won't change until I change and form better time management skills. And I'm working on that now so I'll let you know what happens...
What else? Well, since the last poem I posted, I've thought of a few great ideas for poems. And I can't wait to sit down and actually form them. It takes time and thought, just like when I'm drawing a picture. Speaking of, I really want to get back into art. There are so many things I'm interested in, I just don't have the time to do them anymore or I'm too lazy to work on them or I procrastinate on doing the work. Sad sad sad smh.
Boy's practice. Goofy talks to me more. Welllll... not really talking. More like just making funny comments back and forth. More like yesterday when he shook his but for me and Tingtong lol. Good enough for me I guess. Maybe? I still miss talking to him as a friend, but I think it's too late for that. I'm a little mad I couldn't see him in study today.
Oh! They had their first game today. I hope they did well. I'm gonna text Tingtong about it later.
I think that's it... alright bye! loL