Tuesday, January 18, 2011

BC1: Day Twelve

Something people never compliment you on.

I can't really think of anything right now. I mean, recently I've gotten a few compliments that you don't hear everyday. Stuff like "You're so real" and "You have a heart of gold". And I love hearing that because hey, it makes me feel special. I mean, everybody loves getting compliments. Whether they show it or not, whether they believe it or not, it's nice to hear. I admit I love compliments, but I don't really get upset when people don't notice it or anything. I don't know.
It's really only times when I actually try to impress people (with my outfits or my hairstyles or something) when I notice if they don't compliment me. Otherwise, I don't really give a flip if they compliment me or not.


Sunday, January 16, 2011

Birthday Wishes

As some of you may know my birthday is coming up fairly soon. I wanted this year's to be amazing, everything that I hoped for. Then again, if I hype it up too much and it doesn't turn out the way I hoped, I'll just get disappointed... so I'll just have to have fun no matter what I do! :D

There's only a few things that I want to do this year. I'd like to go to Sephora and get a makeoverrrr (yay!), go karaoke-ing with my friends, and eat at Pour House. I'm still not sure about karaoke right now because I'm still broke D: but we'll see. Hopefully I'll get some birthday money... and after getting extremely late christmas gifts, I hope I can go out and celebrate with my friends :) Maybe we'll just go clubbing ;) WOOOOOOOOT!
Then again, my mom said that she's gonna take me to a photoshoot so I can have pictures for when I audition for modeling, but honestly I don't trust half the things my mom says. She rarely keeps her promises. I know she would love to do everything she says, but if you can't stay committed to it, don't bother saying it at all.
Oh yea! And I hope Malcolm will be able to get those tickets to the Robyn concert on Feb 4th. I love Robyn's music! It'd be so awesome, my first concert. I desperately hope...

And yes, I have a list of things that I would love to get. Maybe I'll have money for them after my birthday. Or when I get a job (I am determined to get some sort of income this year *grrrr*).
Other things would be to visit Malcolm in Texas, but he's moving back soon anyway so that's out. And to come to school and find a gift in my locker. This is gonna be my last year with an actual school locker so it's my last chance to get it crossed off my list haha. We'll see...

So all of this was about me listing out what I want. I don't actually need any of it, but it would just be nice. Even if none of this happens, I'll still be glad because, hey I would have survived one more year! And of course I'll still be with my friends and family. That's really all I need. Kay, I'm off to read. Byeeee!

Until next blog...

BC1: Day Eleven

Something people seem to compliment you the most on.

Well I've gotten a few compliments on my clothes (not many). And I've gotten compliments when I play volleyball, but I swear I'm nothing compared to certain other players... Lot's of people compliment me on my cleanliness, but I know a couple people think it's just OCD lol. I get compliments on my handwriting too. And I've recently gotten compliments on my singing. But I think I get the most compliments on my creativity and art stuff. Whether I'm drawing something for someone or I make a poster assignment look cool, people like my artistic-ness :)

What I love most about it is that it just comes naturally for me.

Morning Tears

Beautiful dreamer,
Wake unto me.
Starlight and dewdrops
Are awaiting thee.

This morning sometime around 5am I woke up.
And I was crying.

In the dream I was having I was crying, like seriously bawling, and I guess it must've been too much emotional stress because I woke up and actual tears were sliding down my cheeks. Has that ever happened to you before? This was the second time for me.
I don't dream a lot (or it may just be that I don't remember most of my dreams) but when I do have them, they're usually intense, some the good kind and others the bad kind. So the first time this happened I was dreaming that my friend Frank died. I don't remember how but in the dream I broke down crying and I woke up crying too. Frank means a lot to me. Although we don't see each other or talk much anymore because he's busy with college and work, he's still considered a dear friend to me. So when I woke up I was almost in shock. I texted him right away haha. Sooner or later I fell back asleep and when I woke up he replied saying that he loved me lol. That jerk haha. We had a nice little convo about it. And of course I was glad to know that he was still alive :)
But anyway, the dream I woke up from this morning was different. I was in school in class sitting next to Vicky. We were talking... well, it was more like me talking to her. I was trying to start a convo. Eventhough she kept giving me short answers, I kept at it. I asked her what she had for breakfast. I know she doesn't eat much so I said that I would make her breakfast and stuff but out of nowhere she flips out at me saying that she didn't want any of my burnt eggs (the proper term is overcooked actually; this was probably because of my friend Thomas, he's "teaching" me how to cook and last week I tried making an omelet but I accidentally burned the onions and sausage and overcooked the eggs, it was a complete fail...) and tells me to leave her alone. I was really hurt so I tell her "Fine. Fuck you, bitch!" and everyone in the class gave me an applause. I got up to leave the room, but right before I walked out the door I opened a half gallon carton of milk and throw it on the ground at her. (Don't ask me why I had it, I just did lol.) So I left and I started running down the hall crying. I saw Lexy at the end of the hall so I ran to her and hugged her. I was bawling on her shoulder and we both sunk to the ground. And she held me and tried to console me. And then I woke up. And like the little traitors they are, tears were on my face.
That was the second time I cried so far this year *sigh*
I know that recently there's been a bit of tension between Vicky and I. I had her waiting downtown in the cold earlier this week. I still feel really bad about it. Even Friday when I was waiting in Ms. Santos' room for a friend, it was awkward. We didn't talk much :(
I hope it doesn't last too long. Though me hiding from her on AIM probably isn't helping either...
But back to the main topic, now that I think about it, this has happened once before. It was a really long time ago when I was a kid. I had this dream that my brother Malcolm died. And I'm sure by now people know how much he means to me. I was terrified because he was away at college and I couldn't be sure it was real or now. So I went to my parents' room crying and I told my mom what happened. And she was like "So what? It's just a dream", which didn't really help but she let me stay in their room anyway.
Moms. Can't live with them, can't live without them.
But yea, dreams like that are really scary. There's always that moment of bewilderment when you're not sure what's real and what was part of the dream. But in the end, for me, the dream is like a reality check. It teaches me not to take my friends or family, those who matter most to me, for granted.

Tears can be very revealing...
Good morning :)

Saturday, January 15, 2011

2011, The Start of Something New

It's really late, but happy new year heheheh.
Fina11y a senior, fina11y tunrning 18 (very soon *wink*). I'm lovin it.
Have fun guys!

Until next blog...