Monday, March 21, 2011

I KNEEEEEEWWW This Was Gonna Happen!

I'm pissed off. This morning I woke up late at 6:30 and now I'm on punishment. Great. You wanna know the reason why I woke up late? Because I went to sleep at 3. You wanna know why I went to sleep at 3? Because I was talking to Vicky. It was around 12:30 when finished doing my hair and was ready to do homework (or most likely k.o. because I was EXHAUSTED). Vicky was getting on my case about me not talking. She wanted to talk so after some... debating I gave in. And she started talking. And she said a lot. A whole lot more than she's said in a long time which is great. I understand how she feels and why she feels that way a bit better but... in the end it was all just her talking which usually I'm okay with but... didn't she start off wanting to hear from me? And either way there's nothing I can do about what she said. I can't change the way she thinks, I realized this a while ago. No matter how many times I say to think about yourself, to not care about what others think, she'd still feel the same way. My tactic is to just keep telling her these things in hopes that sooner or later she'll realize that's what she needs to do, which may feel like a waste of my time now but if it succeeds.. well, I'll succeed. And we'll both be happy. She's right, this has been a reoccurring topic of my blog. Because it matters a lot to me. I mean, no one likes feeling like they aren't succeeding. I hate this feeling but what else can I do? Just listen and be glad that she's opening up to someone I guess.
Anyway. "We" talked until like 1:30 or 2 and somewhere in that time Thomas started talking to me. And he was talking about Michelle and his anger at her and how he can't move on. And we were talking until maybe 2:30 and by the time he said he was going to sleep I couldn't sleep at all. I wasn't tired. In my mind I was just thinking "Shit. I'm not gonna get up tomorrow. I should've just went to sleep when I wanted to." But hey, I can't blame anyone. I'm glad I know what I do now. I'm just upset it couldn't wait until today. So yes, I'm slightly ticked. Because my dad yelled at me this morning "You better fucking come straight home afterschool today. And tonight your laptop and you iPhone better be off at 10." (Or something like that.) I can't go out afterschool, even to my club meetings. I can't play volleyball on Friday nights D:
Well, I'll ask him about that but I doubt he'll let me do it. I wonder what he's gonna say about YMS! NOOOOOO! Sigh. Sure, I'll prob still stay afterschool for a bit since my parents don't come home till like 6, but I won't have time to do much. Two weeks. That's like a century in teenager time lol.

The thing about all this that angers me the most is that I knew I wouldn't be able to get up on time when I first started talking to Vicky. Smh. I should've followed my gut. Oh well.

:[ Alright. I'd better get some homework started. Don't wanna waste the time I have with my laptop. I wonder if this means that after 10 I can use the desktop. Hmmm.....

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