Everything is complete bullshit. My family can't trust me and we're fighting every night. All of this is happening less than a week before I move onto campus too.. I hate for things to end so badly now. Not only that but it finally feels like my best friend is a stranger. I say finally because I was told that it would happen sooner or later. I guess later has arrived. So while I'm trying to say goodbye-for-now's to my friends, the relationships with the most important people in my life are sort of just.. disintegrating.
Also, the other day I finally got to tell her my thoughts. I felt a little bad about saying certain things but the feeling I got afterward overshadowed all that. I was so proud of myself for speaking my mind. I felt like a brand new person. It didn't matter that she wouldn't really listen to what I was saying, that she would stay with him, or that he would essentially take my role of best friend in her life, I was glad that I was able to voice my thoughts. And you know what? I'm almost okay with it now. I don't care anymore. I just want to move on and get away from all this crap. "Fuck everyone and fuck everything..." (It's a Jon Lajoie song lol. It's one of the very few things that makes me smile these days.)
I'll be there to help her when the time's right.
For now I'll just have to get through these final days as best as I can.