Thursday, October 6, 2011

I've been thinking..

Last night the thought occurred to me and I today I've decided. I'm not going to play volleyball for this school next year. My reasons? I actually have a couple.
Currently on the team there are three juniors, three sophomores, and seven freshmen, including me. That means that next year (unless I turn into a killer and magically learn how to hit 1's overnight) I'll probably be playing just as often as I do now: rarely - even if we don't get any more new players. Plus there have been more than a couple times when my so-called teammates have pissed me off. After yesterday's game when we were taking down the net I found myself pushing the cart with the poles and nets and everything by myself. I've been doing that for the past couple of days so I'm used to it but yesterday no one was holding the gym door open for me. They were all changing their clothes on the other side of the gym getting ready to leave. I had to wait for some random kid to hold it open for me. How fucking messed up is that?! And today? We had a "light" practice working with the trainer. After she left we were supposed to serve for a bit. Tell me why me and like 3 other girls were the only ones at least trying to help put up the net. The rest were busy talking away laughing about something not at all related to practice. Things like that piss me the fuck off. When two girls were trying to tighten the net some girls kept serving... and missing making it harder for the girls working on the net. It's like they have no respect and no common sense. Let's say at dinner (when I used to eat dinner with the team - I avoid it now because it annoys me so much) I would be sitting with three girls who would be having a conversation. One would ask "oh, how'd it go with so-and-so last night?" and they'd reply "oh, i'll tell you later." It's as if they don't want to say anything in front of me (this has happened on bus rides from away games too! they'd whisper to each other about going to some club together or something like they wouldn't want me to hear when I'm literally sitting behind you and I already know that you're going, I just don't want to go anywhere with you guys). Honestly, what you say won't change my opinion of you at all. I already think you're a slutty bitch, now I just think you're rude and inconsiderate on top of it. UGH!
I mean, as individuals I can learn to appreciate each team member. I even like to have some of them as friends! But I absolutely hate them as a team. They branch off into their little cliques and all they do is talk shit about each other. It's ridiculous. They make fun of each other behind each others' backs all the time! I don't know if it's just a girl thing but it makes me furious how much this team is not a team. I don't want to be a part of it anymore. I'd rather play at BCNC with people who appreciate me. I don't want to stand on the sidelines taking stats and cheer for a team that doesn't care about me. What's the point?
It's been an interesting year so far. Yes, it's been a decent experience. I've learned that I'm not even a "good" hitter (according to my coach). I've learned what my tolerance level for some people is. But I can't stay with this team any longer. They suck.

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